Well, Spring semester is here, and with that comes the scariness for me. I've made so many hard decisions this year that I'm ready to move on... into the summer... into the fall eventually. Today I had a hard time trusting God with things.. with support raising, with the girls in my group this summer, with me this summer, and some other things. I hate this cycle I get into, where I can fully and completely trust God with some things.. then when they aren't working out exactly how I want them to, I back away and run from His promises. Tonight, though, God encouraged and challenged me with one of my favorite songs by Derek Webb:
Wedding DressIf you could love me as a wife
And for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I’d ever need
or is there more I’m looking for?
And should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want?
I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I’m a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you
So could you love this bastard child
Though I don’t trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side?
I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood
Because money cannot buy
a husband’s jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife
Derek Webb wrote this ballad about the adulteress bride in Ezekiel 16, showing how we live our lives contrary to what we claim. "So could you love this bastard child though I don't trust you to provide?" hit home with me tonight. The last verse in Ezekiel 16 is a promise, though: "I have forgiven you for all that you have done," the Lord God declares. What a great God!
I am reminded of Hosea
Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
Bring her into the wilderness
And speak kindly to her.
-Hos. 2:14
I will betroth you to Me forever;
Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice
In lovingkindness and in compassion,
And I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness.
Then you will know the Lord.
-Hos. 2:19