No words

I feel compelled to blog since I've been neglecting it for a long while. Actually, I have no idea what I should say. It's almost like I've become the melancholy personality for just a short while- sometimes I am super discouraged and others I am praising God for His goodness. I've been told several times recently that my personality really has allowed me to bounce back from hard things better than other types of personalities. For that I am thankful. I've always had a joyful spirit, and I can't let this crush my spirit.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I've had a string of hard situations come my way in the past month or so (see previous post). It's not as bad as other things I could be going through, but it definitely counts as trials that take me through the Refiner's fire. I'm confident that God can bring me through these things with a whole heart, and that I will be able to trust Him with my life more. I'm kind of in a place of confusion, change, unrest and just plain not understanding why this is all happening right now. None of this makes sense, and I can't wait until I get through it.

I don't even know why I'm writing this or if it makes sense to anyone. I wish I could explain more, but I'm just going to send this snippet of my heart out into the void in the hopes that it encourages someone out there to keep holding on to God's promises even when times are hard and confusing. Be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10). He doesn't withhold good from us (Matthew 7: 9-11). He gives us everything we need (Philippians 4:19). He heals us (Matthew 15:30). He calls us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him (Matthew 16: 24-26). He can do ALL THINGS and no plan of His can be thwarted (Job 42:2). He encourages us when we are down (Psalm 10:17). What a great God we serve!

Through all of this God has opened up some doors for me to things I've never before considered doing. It's pretty exciting to think that some of these things could happen soon, but I can't get into that now. We'll see what happens. Until then, I'm going to go write a country song about my life!

Let's make like Tom and CRUISE!

I leave for our family cruise in like 6 hours! I can never sleep before a trip so I'm trying to do things to make me want to fall asleep.

Anyways, this cruise couldn't have come at a better time. This past month has been the toughest time I've been through in a while. You know when you have those few weeks when things just keep happening or keep getting piled on you? Well, it's been like that with a stream of incidences that have left me very discouraged. My truck was giving me trouble and when I thought it got fixed the first time it kept stalling on me. So I had to go get it fixed again. This time I'm hoping it worked because it's leaving me scared to drive. Is that just a common girl thing not to want to drive a car when you think you might be stalled out on the side of the road somewhere? If not, this fear could come from this other traumatic in-the-mud incident of mine that I referenced in my previous post. I'll tell you about that when I get back.

On top of that, I've been quasi-diagnosed with a common syndrome among women. Don't worry too much because it is very treatable! Maybe one of these days I'll write about it, but until then I am telling all my girlfriends about it so they can make sure they get tested for it too.

These were the two main difficult things amongst a plethora of other tiny hardships, but God is good and getting me through it! When my car's in the shop, I get bad news about my health, money is tight, or I'm having trouble relating to others, it's like a big nudge to see what God says about those situations and about His character. Really, I like these times, despite the difficulty, because I end up spending a lot of time with the Lord! I think that's true for most everyone walking with Jesus- they draw closer to Him in the hard times. I'm not complaining. I'm just telling you what I'm going through and admitting that it's been really tough. Jesus didn't promise a cakewalk but rather a walk in His shoes every once in a while.

So when you see me, just give me a hug! That would encourage me so much. Until then, I'm going to set sail on the open waters and see some new places and do fun things I've never experienced before.

Yeah Mon!!!

(Exit song cue:
Aruba, Jamaica, oooooh I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama....)

Most annoying thing I've ever done...

I took the RyanAttack Challenge and decided to blog about the most annoying thing I've ever done. Well, there are plenty but the only one I can think about at 1:30 in the morning had something to do with bottles of sand and hot glue.

When I was about 11 years old I went to the fair with my Aunt Karen and not-yet Uncle Bob, and I think Amy was there too. We went to this booth where you pick a glass bottle and then pour in different colors of sand. Once you fill it up, you pick a topper for the bottle and they glue it on for you. Well, I filled my bottle with sand. Then they took my bottle and I turned around to do something else. When I turned back around I saw my sand bottle and there was this clear thing over the top. I guess I was feeling really impulsive and, thinking it was Saran Wrap, I poked my finger through it. Big mistake. The next thing I feel is searing hot melting dripping-down-my-fingers pain. They had poured a lot of hot glue in the top and were about to put the topper on it when I had to be an idiot and poke my finger through it.

So we go to the ER and they fix me up. My middle finger was bandaged with gauze for a few weeks.

This was annoying for several reasons. First of all, why did I think they put Saran Wrap over my bottle? Secondly, no matter what it was- Saran Wrap or hot glue- why would I poke my finger in it???? And last but not least, every time I showed someone my bandaged wounds I ended up offending them because I in turn flipped them off.

It may sound lame, but to me this is one of the most annoying things I've done to myself..... next to swerving off the highway into mud puddle and driving 9 hours with mud up to my waist. But that's another story for another day.

Peace out '07!

OK so I feel like I need to do the obligatory "Here's-What-Happened-In-2007" post in order to start out 2008. I like lists because they are easier to read, so here goes with some things that have happened in this past year.

- I got a new job working at the BSU bookstore
- I had another job for like 4 days in my aunt's company
- Two months of my life were spent in Cambodia
- I got to lead a team overseas, which I never thought I could do
- Rode an elephant
- Ate a cricket
- Had a toga party
- Went through some rough doctor's visits recently
- Went to Schlitterbahn
- I experienced my first ever ice storm
- Stopped eating fast food (with the exception of a few places of course!)
- Became an undergraduate TA for the communication department
- Started dating Preston
- Saw some great movies like "Hairspray"
- Went to Arizona for the Fiesta Bowl
- I started to like yogurt
- Learned how to convert audio tapes into mp3s (exciting right?)
- I finally got a good scholarship for being Native American
- Moved into a house with 5 other girls
- I did not do the Pride this year
- I thought I would figure out what I wanted to do with my life, but that never happened

Things I want to do in 2008
- Go to more concerts!!!!!! This is definitely at the top of the list
- See Tygre get married
- See Jill get married
- See Lauren get married
- See Allison get married
- Go visit Lindsay and my other buddies in Colorado
- Go on a cruise
- Practice my guitar more often
- Get that ensemble together with Cindy and other people
- Sing!
- Invest in girls' lives
- Print my pictures
- Work out
- Go water skiing
- See Grandma Van Dyck more often
- Get a good job after I graduate
- Graduate!
- Learn piano
- Save money

OK that's enough ambition for me! I hope I can do all of these things and so much more this year! After the craziness of 2007, I wonder what curve balls life will throw at me in 2008.

Happy New Year everyone!